A traumatic series of life events, including being thoughtlessly discarded by my partner in 2015, thrust me into a personal downward spiral. As I sought the answer to “Why me?,” I discovered that I had been a victim of narcissist abuse. At the age of 55, I learned about my life in one single “event” that pushed me as low as I could possibly imagine.
Like many, before that moment, I had never heard the term “Narcissist Personality Disorder.” Armed with only the name, I began to study it voraciously: I watched YouTube videos, joined support forums, read books, and poured over articles and blogs until my eyes could no longer focus. Upon discovering a lifetime of abusive patterns and poor choices I had made because of them, it felt quite natural to get in front of a camera and make my first YouTube video. Looking back at the first videos I made, you will see fear, hurt, shame, confusion, and shock.
My YouTube channel started with two subscribers, and one was me. My goal from the beginning had solely been therapy for myself and to document my journey so I was humbled by my ever-increasing followers and the personal stories that they so generously shared with me – inside I hoped and believed that if I could help just one person, it would all be worth it. With time I found creative ways to deliver my message. I now have a cache of nearly 425 videos, 24,000 subscribers with over 2,500,000 views, and an international following that includes 145 countries.
A big part of my recovery began when I formed my first in-person support group in 2016. I discovered that if you bring people together, they will help you heal. The rest will fall into place. Community is essential to healing. As my knowledge grew and I found my voice, I became a speaker at many online events. Nothing compares to the friendships made in a group with a common struggle. Also in 2016, I started my resource website NarcissistAbuseSupport.com as well as my Facebook group which now has over 15,000 members from all over the world.
Today, I am healed and have a burning passion to raise awareness on the subject of narcissistic abuse and I want to guide you in turning your life around … regain your self-worth … find your light at the end of your tunnel. One of the amazing things that emerge during a crisis is learning your strengths, and one of mine turned out to be listening to and helping others. I offer coaching sessions to people going through rough patches in their lives. These sessions not only help you gain a deeper understanding of abusive behaviors but they also highlight how you can thrive after experiencing such a difficult and troubled relationship. It’s time to take your life back.
In addition to coaching, I learned that when I put my thoughts and experiences on paper, others can learn from them. Some, I have discovered, prefer to “go it alone” initially until they can come to grips with what they have lived through. I have a catalog of e-books available and in the fall of 2021, my newest book, “Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!” will be available. This will serve as “cliff notes” with stories from survivors of court battles between narcissistic and codependent mates; the ultimate resource to help the reader understand this type of individual, what to expect, and the strategies to navigate with legal and emotional resilience. It allows a quick, but enlightening, glimpse into situations experienced by others and the methods used to not only outlast the attempts made to ruin them but also flourish after the dust has settled. I have also collected “tips” from 26 experts in the field including lawyers, mediators, psychologists, therapists, coaches, and financial advisors that have been cleverly interwoven to make potentially difficult to understand topics clear and concise.
Through my years of study and work, I have become an expert on destructive relationships. You can learn more from my online courses such as how to set boundaries, changing your story to stop attracting narcissists, and my newest course which explains how to create a narc-proof parenting plan.
Whether or not you work with me or you work with someone else, do the work. Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Do it for your future.
Become more than a survivor. Be a SurThriver!
“I have worked with two therapists in the last year and they were helpful but I was still very emotional and the PTSD kept me in bed many days a week. Then I decided to try working with Tracy. Wow! She validated me and all the crazy I had been through, but we immediately started looking for the wounds I got from my abusive marriage. She gave me videos to watch to build my confidence and courage to keep going. Next she suggested some books that I could work on to start to heal myself. Again, wow! I am finally living my life without the fear, anxiety. Thank you Tracy!” ~ surTHRIVER
“I reached out to Tracy at the lowest I had been. I felt lost and very much alone. Her strategies helped me find the courage to get out of my house, back to work and start to understand self-love… I felt stronger. It felt good to be understood by someone who has come out the other side.” ~ surTHRIVER